Different grades of “Chopin” in government

November 20, 2015
by
2 mins read

Whave become terribly cynical about the process of governance in our country; and for good reasons! Our history is littered with the greatest levels of heist ever visited upon any African country, and the conservative estimate is that $300 billion has been stolen from Nigeria over the decades.

The period since 1999 opened up a new vista in the looting of the Nigerian state. As I have pointed out on this page over the past few years, a new phenomenon emerged with the transition to civil rule; it is the phenomenon whereby those who have ruled our states end up becoming richer than the states they ruled.

Three examples are clear today: Borno, Lagos and Kwara states! Nigerians know this fact and we have not sufficiently organised ourselves to stop the rot; it is still too easy to manipulate the ethno-religious faultlines to numb or stop pan-Nigerian action. But we have remained cynically perceptive, as this example, sent to me early this week shows:

* When you chop alone in government and no one chops with you, that is called ADAJE.

* When you chop in government and you allow others to chop their own, that is called AJOJE.

* When you chop in government and you give others from what you have chopulated, that is called AFUNJE.

*When you chop in government and the place you are chopin eventually folds up, that is called AJEPA!

When you dey chop in government, you no remember your driver, secretary, office assistantsdat is called AFISHE!

When you dey chop alone in government, no remember anybody, you kon dey get headache today, fever tomoro,hehehehehe. .. I laff oyinbo laffdat one is called APETA!

When dem just appoint you for government position, and you just chop small, auditors kon come say bring all papersdat is called ARANSI!

When you chop in government and you die while chopin, that is called AJEKU!

When you want to chop in government and you give others to chop before you begin to chop, that is called EGUNJE!

When you are chopin your own in government and you call your friends to come and chop their own too, that is called APEJE!

* When you chop and clean mouth like say you no chop anything, that is called JEUN SOKE!

 

* When you chop chop chop in government and you dey deny say you chop anything, dat is called JEUN KOKU!

When you chop from this government, that government, this government, that government like say na you dem create Nigeria for, dat one is called AJEPE AYE!

When you chop in government so tay you scatter ground, three houses for America, two for London, six for Kubwa, seven for VI, as Madam dey go shopping for Dubai, children deygo summer for Spain, EFCC kon gbab you, dat one is called AJEBANU!

When you chop well well for government and people know say you chop well well but you dey deny say you chop well well, dat person na ALAJE SE.

What’s your view of these categorisations?.

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